Apart from being pathetic, Labour leader David Cunliffe’s apology last week for being a man was simply hollow. It may have gone down well with some in his Womens Refuge audience, but like most discussion of domestic violence in this country it ignored the real driver of such violence – the casualisation of human relationships.
An article published in the Washington Post last month summed up the now overwhelming evidence that as cultural support for marriage has declined in western societies, domestic violence and child abuse have flourished. It quoted a 2012 US Dept of Justice special report which found females living in households comprised of one female adult with children experienced intimate partner violence at a rate more than 10 times higher than households with married adults with children.
The study was based on hard evidence collated by the Bureau of Justice Statistics. The response in this country was an article published on the Stuff website (“Marriage obsession fuels abuse“) which merely dismissed the numbers as part of a conservative patriachal plot to lock women into abusive situations. However unlike the Washington Post piece which had graphs, data, and referenced links – the Stuff piece had little but tired feminist rhetoric. Apparently honestly facing the evidence is “blaming women for not being married”.
Such shallow statements completely miss the point. In the last 40 years the notion that men and women should make formal, public, lifelong commitments to each other has been progressively undermined. The social science shows the outcome.
The Hon David Cunliffe’s apology is hollow because he has been part of the leadership in our country which has led the way in undermining marriage. He voted to elevate the status of de-facto relationships (Relationships Act), create alternative legal forms (Civil Unions), redefine marriage to make it meaningless (same-sex marriage legislation) and normalise prostitution (Prostitution Reform Act). Regardless of his gender, that is a record worth apologising for.